Afraid Of Sunlight

More pure fluff. Happy B/A Therapy for those of us so inclined.

NC-17 For adult situations!

Disclaimer: Would Whedon and Co. ever let them have this good of a time? NO WAY!

Dedication: To Maria, who inspired me by making me cry. AGAIN.

Summary: Duh. They get BUSY... and COMPLETE HAPPINESS ENSUES, DAMMIT!!!!

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To say that I burn for her is a tragic understatement. I look at her, and a heat rushes through my body like none I've ever felt before, even when living blood ran through my veins. Over the centuries, I've made love to hundreds of women... not a fact I'm necessarily proud of, but there it is. And despite that, despite all that any of them may or may not have meant to me, there is no one who has ever made me feel like Buffy does.

It's not only the way she looks. Although, there is that. She's beautiful in so many physical ways... her tiny, muscular body... her scent... her warmth... She has skin like rose petals... breasts like the softest pillows... a mouth sweeter than any candy. I watch her fight, or I watch her simply walk toward me, and I am lost in her beauty.

But there is so much more to Buffy than even I can explain, or try to make her understand...More than can be seen in any mirror but perhaps my eyes. The way her touch forgives me all I have done... the way her voice tells me I matter... the way her kisses make me feel alive... The way her arms around me make me certain I can face another day...

She is my redemption. In her, I am all that I wanted to be, all that I prayed I could be, and so much more. She is a light shone on me I had become convinced was denied me because I was Damned...She is the eternal reward of the angels, for even long after she is gone and turned to dust, I will still be blessed by the knowledge that I was loved by her.

The firelight glances off her golden skin, and I burn once again... Her eyes and her mind are far away, thinking dark thoughts, as evidenced by the slight frown that curses her pretty lips...

I reach out to touch the beautiful abomination. I'm compelled to take this electricity building within me and reach out to her with it... bring her back to me, in the glorious now... Not our then... not all the painful days of our past, where I know she is... There is only the two of us, here, tonight...

When my fingertips make contact, I can feel the warmth spread through every cell of me, and out to embrace her... Only a tiny point of contact, and my fire spreads to her.

She looks at me with those eyes, and I can see so many things I would never know about myself were I able to spend days looking at myself in the mirror. Her frown is chased away by a little smile, and it brings one to me, as well. I gave that to her.

"Where are you?" I asked.

She blinks a couple of times, as if she had forgotten where she was for a moment. "I was thinking... about...You know, the first time..."

I'm surprised. I didn't think she thought about it, because of what happened after. I thought she had tucked that away somewhere in her "Things-I-Was-Subjected-To-Because-I-Am-The-Slayer" file, that place in the back of her mind where she put those things she wanted to, but couldn't, forget. A woman's first lovemaking experience should be a glorious thing... a Fantastic Moment to look back upon over the years, to stand as the foundation for ever experience that followed -- the template of joy everlasting...

But for Buffy? She had only the memory that her love created a monster. I hate myself for that.

"What about it?" I ask, unable to look her in the eye. I suddenly find my wine glass terribly interesting.

She sighs. We have made love many times since then. My soul was bound, we knew... many hours of research and magickal experimentation had proved it... And I spent countless hours since that day worshiping her... kissing joy into all the places that were hurt by me...

"Trying to remember what it feels like...the...the first time you're touched... like that..."

I think about that for a minute. Could I remember the first woman who ever touched me with passion? The first one who set my body on fire?

No. It was a sensation long dead within my memory.

"Hm." I say. She's looking straight at me, and I feel obliged to return her stare.

"I love you." She says. She reaches out and places her hand on the side of my face... it's like a blanket, her warmth... like her love surrounds me-- a shield, always protecting me from harm. I can forget all the rest when she looks at me like that... when she touches me.

I lean toward her, and the journey takes forever... I kiss her softly once, and again... I can feel that little thrill rush through me, and she shivers...

"I love you, too." I whisper, and I move to put both my arms around her and pull her to me, devouring her face with small kisses...

She sighs again, but this time with pleasure. This moment, there is no confusion...

Her hands roam up my back and into my hair... she returns the caresses of my lips and lowers me slowly to the floor... I can feel the fire on my feet.

Her kisses are like magick. I'm warm, lying under her tender attentions... My clothes disappear like a mist, and she covers me with her hands and her mouth. Oh, gods... gods... She feels so good...

I slide off her dress, and even I'm surprised at how the fact that she is wearing nothing underneath makes me so happy... I nibble at her... each inch of her beautiful flesh that I can reach...

We sigh and moan into one another... It's the music of angels, echoing softly through the dark room... As we join together, our bodies become one... one flesh, one breath, one heartbeat... And the two of us moving together creates a new being... a new energy, that fills the room like smoke, snuffing out the air...Fills it with new life.

I close my eyes and open all of my senses to her... There is no greater adrenaline rush than love... especially physical love, in a human sense... Making love to this woman satisfies even the demon within me, for when I lie with her, I am fully sated...

She cries out my name, and the sound is a sorcery that lifts my curse for this single moment... I fly free and return the blessing in her name... We sing together, body and soul, as we move... and I roll her away on to her back, never losing contact with her, so she is beneath me... I smother her, and clutch at her, pulling her as close to me as I possibly can, when trapped by this burning skin...

I'm lost, in her. And yet, I am everything...I know everything. I can hear the air hum... I lower my face into her neck and sniff deeply, taking in the sweet smell of her love, her life, flowing through her body... I lower my lips to its surface and kiss it, softly, reminding it... and then I let my fangs slide down and into the flesh... The first rush of her blood into my mouth is like liquid ecstasy, and I come so hard I feel like I might explode into dust.

I see nothing but stars...I hear nothing but her crying my name.

A million soft, sleeping breaths later, she nestles against my chest. For the third time this night, she sighs, and for the third time, it is a different sound. Satisfied. Contented.

It is always at this moment I feel the fear. For hearing her joy sends a whisper of peace through my soul that forces an unnecessary breath from my dead lungs at the sheer happiness of it. It is now when I should feel the horrifying pain, the terror of my soul being ripped from my body... When I should stumble into the night and die, screaming her name...

But not anymore. Now I hold her and kiss her damp hair, wondering at the perfection of it. Nothing stands between us, now. Now I can hear the rain fall outside and know that I am far away from it... safe and dry inside...

I listen to her stir a little, and she leans up to look at me. I'm glad to see her again. And the look on her face is more beautiful than anything I have ever seen.

"I...Buffy..." I tell her, unable to put words to all that I feel.

"I know." She says, reaching up to touch my face.

I don't care if the dawn comes. I'm not afraid of the sunlight, either.

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